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Friday, October 31, 2008

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car
stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out
of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump
and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a
kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was
more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from
behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This
was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her
words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife
said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed
my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture,
O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of
divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No
matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing
dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer,
visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce,
what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I
couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all
the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently
smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got
something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had
to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious
topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made
her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The
woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one
day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of
divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I
saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I
found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from
me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and
in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason
was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and
she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning,
do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This
question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I
nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so,
I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day
when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out
from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and
wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to
face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made
me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So
when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a
sense of pain. >From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I
drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on
my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a
long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine
wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we
were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.
The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,
where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I
nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew
about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made
me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She
was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite
a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses
have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because
she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was
stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He
said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential
part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the
last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the
sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding
day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in
your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our
life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was
afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened
the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no
fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not
because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I
carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her
I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my
wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the
card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Happy Halloween!

This is my 1st Halloween here in the U.S.,tonight we will go for Trick or Treat.I can't wait to go out and experience it for the first time.Can't wait to wear my costume too!!


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Yulee Sugar Mill

Yulee Sugar Mill Ruins were once part of a thriving sugar plantation owned by David Levy Yulee. Yulee was a member of the Territorial Legislative Council, and served in the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate after Florida statehood.

The 5,100-acre sugar plantation was operated by approximately 1,000 slaves. Crops grown included, sugar cane, citrus, cotton, and produce, just to name a few. Most of the plantation was deeded to Yulee by Spain during the Spanish occupation.

The most imposing feature of the plantation, was the sugar mill, located near the Homosassa River. The mill operated for 13 years, producing sugar, syrup and molasses. (Molasses was used to make rum.) The mill was abandoned during the Civil War and Yulee's plantation home, located down the river, was burned. The plantation and mill never recovered from the war.

During my visit to this small park you will see the ruins of this once prosperous mill. Still standing are the steam boiler, crushing machinery, and large cooking kettles (all shipped from Florida from New York) used to process the sugar cane. Also remaining are the stonework chimney, well and foundation all quarried and constructed by the slaves. A small oval pathway leads visitors around the ruins to interpretive plaques that explain how the system worked.

Across the street from the ruins is the park's picnic area. A six table pavillon is available to groups on a first-come-first-serve basis. Grills and picnic tables are also scattered throughout the picnic area. Restrooms are available. There are no fees charged to visit the park.

Happy Hump Day! myspace graphic comments

Good morning every one! Weekdays is almost over! Two more days and it's Halloween time!My hubby just left for work.I don't feel like going back to bed so I decided to turn on the PC.I woke up in the right side of the bed this morning,even though I was freezing to death..LOL!!I don't have winter clothes yet,So what my hubby did,he let me wear his long sleeve shirt,bathrobe and shoe.We will have our winter clothes shopping this weekend..yeah!! can't wait!!

whatta fashion!!

Chatting with my bestfriend

Last night I was chatting with my best friend "my MOM" for 3 hours,I went to bed at 12 midnight. I really had a lot of fun talking to her and seeing her,I enjoyed hearing her jokes and her laughter.My brother and my niece was there also.She was admitted in the hospital 2 times coz of food poison,So glad she's doing well now.She enjoyed watching Kiray on cam.I don't want to say goodbye to them but I have no choice! How I wish she's here with me now.I'm looking forward of her being here with me.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ready for Halloween

We're ready for Halloween! We already have our pumpkin curb.Last Saturday we bought Halloween costume for our little princess.I was surprised because my hubby told me to choose costume too,I was confused if I have to choose or not because I am not sure if i will wear the costume as I am too shy about wearing them.This will be my first experience celebrating trick or treat , and my hubby want it to be a memorable one.I can't wait for Friday!
I just hope that my hubby can come home early so we can go for the trick or treat.

With our Pumpkins

Kiray with her pail..she can't wait too!

my pumpkin! I worked hard for it..!!

my Halloween costume

Autumn is Here!!

I'm freezing to death now,the temperature today is 40 degree,last night it was 37 degree,I feel like I'm inside the refrigerator.When I arrived here Florida last June, I can't wait for the winter as it was so HOT! now the excitement is gone.It is still fall but it is very cold already!How much more in the winter!!My hubby told me that tonight the temperature will be below 0 degree,OMG!!